Not Good Enough
by Hylander McLeod
Summary: Character Study. Jounouchi's feelings when Mai choses Valon over him. unrequited MaiXJounouchi hinted ValonXMai


disclaimer- I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. unfortunately.

* * *

I have decided to try to attempt character study. Fanfics are nice and fine but I wanted try something psycological for a change of pace. One shots are easier to write and you can really get the nature of the character if you know what you're doing. 

note- they do not mention the ages of the DOOM bikers (at least not any of the sites I've been to ) so I'm putting Valon at 20.

* * *

I stared at her. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't. 

Two years. For over two years I hadn't seen her since I saved her from herself, opened her eyes made her realize who she was was. I lost our match, my soul would be gone but she was back her old self again. I smiled. To this day the situation replays in my mind.

She ran to me._ To me._ She held me as I feel forward, losing feeling in both my legs stressed out from this duel and the previous one. I forgave her. I didn't voice it out but I did. I took one last look at her sparkling, violet eyes, filled with worry. With sadness. For me.

I couldn't let her go through the ordeal again. Not after what Marik did to her in Battle City. Not after I failed her twice before.

Third time's the charm right?

With the last once of strength I push her away, out of the Orichalcos Seal. I'm happy she's safe.

That was the last time I saw her. Up until now. She took off after that. After her soul was freed.

Yeah, the Pharaoh told me she tried to save me. She dueed the same guy he did and lost.

I got the feeling she wasn't ready to see me again. She was afraid I'd turn from her. Afraid I'd hate her.

Truth is I wanted her to come back. Heck I'd stop dueling if she would only come back.

I never voiced it out. But I thought it. If it came to that, I would.

I love her. I, Jounouchi Katsuya, a nineteen year old am in love with Kujaku, Mai.

I don't know when I realized that but I do. I'd give my life for her it needed. I almost did, technically.

But I never told her. I was afraid. Afraid of rejection. Afraid she'd laugh at me.

And now she comes back and I want to tell her. I will tell her, I say to myself.

But before the chance came, _he _showed up.

I couldn't believe it.

Him. He manipulated her. Because of him I almost her. Because of him she suffered trying to get my soul back.

"Jounouchi" I snap out of my stupper. I look at her. Into her eyes more exactly. If anything she's even more beautiful then when I last saw her.

I hear her talking. She said she couldn't see me because she wasn't ready to. She needed time to find out who she was.

"I'm going with Valon, Jounouchi. I thank you for the friendship you've shown me."

I cringe. Him. She choose him over me.

I suppose I could figure out why. He was older than me. He was about 20 when I first met him. More closer to her age. Not some teen.

He and I were bitter enemies at first. He took away the a person I knew, poisoned her mind. Turned her against me.

But from hearing the whole picture from my friends, he too was deceived.

Besides he fought his hardest in that match of ours. I couldn't hold it against him.

Perhaps we have reached some level of tolerance. Of understanding.

Still I can't help but wonder what if it'd been me she had chosen.

I know I much younger than her. But love knows no boundries. If only..

I realized now, when I knew that I loved her.

It was just before she left. If I had told her. If I asked her to stay in Donimo, stay with me, no matter how clouded the future would be for us ...

I still wondered what would happen. Would she accept? Or would she ride off just the same after a quick apology?

I don't know how she would wait for me. Just that I would wait forever for her.

There's no point in saying it now. It wouldn't meanything It's too late.

Friendship is all she wants from me.

I look at him. "You'd better take of care her. I'll find out if you don't."

He looks at me. He's suprised. "No hard feelings mate?"

Aghh. That accent of his.

I put a smiling face trying to hide the fakenss behind it.

I think they can both sense I'm lying. They have to.

"None" I say. "Never."

I offer him my hand.

I don't know why, but I do it. He takes it.

My turn to be surprised.

I look back at her once again.

Tears threaten to spill from my eyes. I struggle to keep them from comming.

"Jounouchi" she whispers "Please... I don't want you hate me."

To my surprise, I feel relief. It's like a burden is lifted.

I approach her. "I could never hate you."

She strokes my check. I break down right there. I hug her.

Yes, like the fool that I am I hug her, hoping to have that one moment.

One touch of her hand. One feel of her hair.

"I'm not sorry we met Mai." I lock eyes with her now, breaking the hug. "And I want you to know I don't regret what I went through because of it. Not one thing."

It's all I could say at this point.

She smiles. "Thank you, Jou."

Valon dismounts from his bike. He wheels it to me. "Consider it a gift for setting me straight."

My eyes look over the bike. A black Kawasaki. I nod.

They both climb on her motorcylce.

"Just know should you ever need anything, you've got a good friend here in Domino. Both of you."

I felt like I had to say it.

I watch the two of them ride into the sunset, her arms wrapped around him.

I wonder for a quick moment what would it be like if it was me with her instead.

"Yo, Jou!"

I turn my head. Honda rides up on his own bike. I guess they got worried, since he went looking for me.

He notcies my bike. "Were'd you get the ride.?"

I smile. For real this time "A friend."

"Mai?" I could feel the anger in his voice.

I shake my head before answering. "Valon."

"You forgave them both? After what they did to you.?"

I nod.

"You're a fool."

I can't take it. I wanna smack him upside the head.

I may not have her as the woman I love. But I will not lose her friendship either.

"I have my reasons, Honda."

He looks at me. "Somehow I feel, you're not true to yourself."

'Am I really such an open book?' I wonder.

I guess I am.

"I didn't tell her. I couldn't."

I stare at the ground.

"I was never good enough for her to begin with."

Honda comes over, patting my shoulder for support.

"You're good enough for us, Jou."

I laugh slightly.

"Come on, let's head back before Anzu thinks you've been kidnapped again."

I can't help but chuckle at his comment. I mount my newly acquired motorcycle. He gets on his own.

As we make our way to the Kame Game Shop, my mind once again drifts back to Mai.

I hope she'll be happy. I do.

Because I gave my own happiness for Mai to have hers.

* * *

whooh. finally finished. 

I almost shed a tear while writing this. And this is only the first one.

R&R


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